come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
