Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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