I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
