Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
