Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
