didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
