Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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