Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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