My sheets look like a crime scene.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
