She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
