Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This baby is an asshole
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
