WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
