Kiss
Puke
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize