My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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