We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
