so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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