brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
