i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
