I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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