how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We had sex on a dog bed..
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
