If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize