what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
