my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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