How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
