Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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