I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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