Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i out mim tonsoeep
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