i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
