I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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