Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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