I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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