We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
