I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
you made out with another girl for some wings
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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