Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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