i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
