forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
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