Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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