no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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