He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
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