Got a toothbrush?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Randomize
