I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
