Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think your dad took our porno
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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