I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
