pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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