Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm drive I can fine osifer
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
