bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
