How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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