we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
