Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
