lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
