As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize