Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
