He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
