btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
