people are starting to question the shark bite story
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
